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Stigma of Sex

April 16, 2015

The stigma of sex work fucking sucks. I’ve been trying to volunteer with Child Protection in my city. I’m very qualified and have all the needed training for the position. I put what I do on the application due to the background checks. Before I did so I talked to a judge, a lawyer and a social worker I know. All three said it shouldn’t be a problem or something that would disqualify me from the position.

Now the coordinator knows and HR is giving her a rough time with it. Saying it might be a problem. I think it’s something along the lines of a parent might come in and see me.

Sad truth? I’m more likely to see the people from HR then I am to see a parent from the county I’ll be working in.

It is ok for them to consume the labor of a sex worker but not ok for a sex worker to provide the labor.

What a fucking crock of bull shit.

Here’s the deal. I and other sex workers provide a service- one that on some level MOST of the population will consume at one point or another. We provide a demanded labor. We create a labor that is consumed at a large scale.

So why the fuck can people consume it without punishment but god help you if you produce it.

Does this make sense to anyone else????

Because it’s not making sense to me. Actually to a level it does. Sex workers- especially female sex workers act out sexuality in a way that is outside the norm. On a large scale we symbolize what the patriarchy fears- women expressing our sexuality not for others but for ourselves. We create something that others are afraid of- both men and women.

I’ve said in a quasi-joking manner before that no one likes a stripper in the daylight but it’s true. At night men can want us and women can hate us but once the daylight happens we are real people, we have real wants and desires. We are willing to get them- to fight for them and that’s scary. We work outside the norm, we aren’t policed by niceties.

The fact remains though- I am a human. I am qualified for positions outside of sex work if I choose to apply for them. I am more than my tits. Fuck you to anyone who says otherwise.

Obviously I’m fighting HR. I’m working in my city to find a lawyer and other back up because this is bull shit and quite frankly harmful to the children in the system. My real world experience from sex work actually makes me exceptionally qualified to do this job. My area is desperate for volunteers. Saying I’m a conflict of interest is a great way to avoid the issue and I’m calling them on their bull shit.
Wish me luck.


From → Who Knows What

  1. chloedancerva permalink

    I’m sorry, sweetheart. Being a social worker myself, I am flabbergasted by the sentiments of the HR department, however, I am not surprised. In the same way that I would not tell a client I went to a strip club the previous night, you would not tell a child your are working with about the great lap dance you gave the previous night. You are an intelligent woman, not a twit. I fully admit any issues I have with strippers are due to my own personal insecurities-not with the job they are performing. I have no problem with anyone consuming services in the sex trade. As you stated, it is a service, like any other. Due to prior relationships and prior issues in my current relationship, there exist trust issues that are the fault of the men-not the female involved-and therefor, I have a difficult time accepting my partner wanting to participate. Until we are willing to openly and honestly discuss the true issues behind our fears or stereotypes, we will not move forward and our society will continue to suffer and churn out caustic males who feel they have the right to treat women with little or no respect. I truly hope you are able to see a positive resolution to this unfair situation. I would like to suggest, if working with child victims is the reason behind wanting to volunteer, perhaps seek out a domestic/sexual violence shelter or crisis center with a children’s program. Odds are the women in positions of power in these organizations will have a much more insightful take on your chosen profession and a lot less inclination to stereotype or put labels upon you, even see the benefit of you being able to work with some of the adult women and their issues surrounding past sexual trauma. Good luck, sunshine!

    • Sadly shelters also do not have the best views or at least from what I’ve seen- that’s actually one of my concerns if this org chooses not to let me volunteer my chances of getting a local internship. So yay for that. Most seem to follow the idea that anyone participating in sex work are forced and anyone who says other wise is playing into what people who traffick want. It can get damn toxic.

      I think the real kicker is that the HR person was a woman- of course this is actually par for the course so what can I say…

  2. Brian permalink

    How bizarre. I would think you would be gold in a position like that. You’ve been there, done that, seen shit, ya know? I think you could be an asset. Sorry that you are stigmatized like this. Nobody deserves that.

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