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Why I Need a Black Widow Movie

November 3, 2014

I posted this on my tumblr account a few days ago and thought I’d put it here also.

Dear Marvel,

I need a Black Widow movie. I need it soon. I need a hero who isn’t always super heroic. I need a troubled hero, I need an anti-hero who does heroic stuff. I need a complicated hero.

I identify with Black Widow. 21 year old, college student, sex worker me identifies with the Russian assassin. Let me explain.

I grew up in a small town and in my small town I internalized a lot of really negative bullshit about myself and others. I was brainwashed by where I grew up. I internalized misogyny, racism, sexism and several other really bad things. I wasn’t actively a bad person but I wasn’t a good person. I was a product of what I was taught.

I look at Black Widow, I look at Natasha- her character and I see another person who was a product of what she was taught. The Red Room becomes a larger representation of my home town. I was taught to think and behave a certain way and so was she.

Her character, however, grew. She broke away from what she was taught- took the skills she learned and decided how to use them. She’s able to grow and develop healthy relationships. She creates and defines her own life.

I need to see this. I need to be reminded that I am not a product of my upbringing. That I have the power to take the negative bullshit and make it something better.

I need to see Natasha grow. I need to see her make mistakes. I need to see her being sexual because it’s part of a job and not feel guilty about it because she got her shit done. I need to see her having sex with someone she cares about and see that even someone with a bad past can have healthy relationships. I need to see her have sex because she needs to feel close to someone. I need her to know it’s probably unhealthy but right now it feels good and she needs to hold on to that.

I need to see Natasha human. I need to see her flawed. In Avengers Natasha showed her vulnerability and it was ok. She wasn’t weak for doing so. I need to see more of that.

See Natasha isn’t Steve- she isn’t doing the right thing because it’s the right thing. She knows who’s important to her and she protects them. It might be one tiny blip of good in a lot of bad but it’s something she can hold on to. I need to see this. I want to see this.
I need my flawed bad ass Russian assassin. I need to see this on a big screen. Marvel- I need a Black Widow movie.

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