Baby Stripper Tips

I love baby strippers. They’re cute, wide eyed and a tiny bit terrified because they have no clue what to do. Well here comes Delilah- your stripper fairy godmother with all sorts of advice and tips.

Tip 1- Buy a pair of stripper shoes, practice walking in them. Cork or suede wedge heels are for the beach- not for work. Stripper heels intimidate you? That’s ok- at least buy a pair of nice stilettos until you feel comfortable. Just for the sake of god and all that is holy do not wear wedges.

Tip 2- Glitter. Don’t do it.  No married guy is going to get a lap dance if you’re wearing glitter. Glitter is the herpes of the arts and crafts world. It gets everywhere it stays everywhere. No guy wants to look like he motor boated a kindergarteners art project.

Tip 3- it’s a strip tease for a reason. Emphasis on the tease bit. Why would a guy tip you on stage if you take it all off right away? If he can sit at the bar while you prance naked to an empty stage he doesn’t have to pay to see it. If you tease and only take it off when someone tips you motivate the idea of tipping.

Tip 4- never fall for the “but this one girl did this one thing that one time” line. You don’t need to put up with that. You will make your money- you don’t need to put up with idiots like that.

Tip 5- make a list of all the things you are ok with and a second one of all the things you are not ok with. Tape this list somewhere you will see it. Read it. Hold on to your convictions and if you do change your mind on something make sure you have a good reason. Don’t do anything you’ll regret because it’s not worth it.

Tip 6- learn what “lap dance pants” are. Guys who come in sweat pants often want a lap dance. They can feel it better. Little icky? Yeah but guess what- sweat pants wont chaff dry skin lie super starched jeans will. Plus this guy already plans on getting a lap dance. It’s your job to make sure his money goes in your wallet.

Tip 7- Bask in the new girl effect- love it, enjoy it, use it. Don’t lord it over seasoned dancers.

Tip 8- speaking of seasoned dancers recognize that honey you are bottom of the totem pole. You just got there. You are a new girl- they don’t know you from Adam. What’s to say you aren’t some stuck up bitch who is going to fuck with someone’s money? Keep your head down and your mouth shut. Ask questions if you have to but watch listen and learn. Usually there will be someone to take you under their wing but it’s a fast learning curve figure it out.

Tip 9- Don’t get drunk. A sloppy drunk bitch is not a cute bitch. Same for getting high. Save getting fucked up for when you’re not at work.

Tip 10- have fun- don’t take yourself to seriously. This can be a very fun very lucrative job. Don’t deal with ass holes- keep your convictions- have fun and make your money honey.