Mainstream Idiots in a Non-mainstream World
When people who don’t work in the sex industry and more specifically the strip club aspect of the strip industry find out about my job they say a lot of things. Some of them are insulting- others just funny. I thought for today I would list some of the most common ones and what I do say and what I actually want to say.
1. So you’re a hooker?
What I want to say- of course, they are exactly the same thing. No distinction between them and obviously any sex work at all is bad and equal in its badness and there no difference between or existence of the idea that it doesn’t have to be a bad thing. (Please note my sarcastic typing.)
What I really say- No, I’m a dancer, I dance. I don’t trade sex for money, I trade the idea of sex for money.
2.So do you parents know?
What I want to say- Is it any of your business? Do you tell your parents every tiny detail of your life? Especially the ones that they wont like when you go out and get black out drunk, do you call your mother after that?
` What I really say- Yes they do. They are ok with it (Lies all lies).
3. You must really like sex.
What I want to say- Why yes I do, are you offering?
What I really say- Why yes I do, are you offering?
4. So do you like have to have sex with customers?
What I want to say-See answer one.
What I really say- See answer one.
5. You must hate men now.
What I want to say- Of course I now hate men. That is why I’m dating a man and most of my friends are men. Its exactly like how I hate all professors because one professor gave me a bad grade.
What I really say- No I don’t.
6. How do you handle being degraded?
What I want to say- Why do you automatically expect that I have to feel degraded? How does that make sense? Why cant a woman be sexy- be in some form of naked and not be degraded? Why do you assume that being naked equates degrading? Is that how you feel about women? Wow, you should look in the mirror dude.
What I actually say- I don’t feel like I’m degraded.
7. You cant be a feminist and do this job.
I take off my cloths and write a feminist blog… see it works
What I want to say- You’re an idiot- stop talking to me
What I really say- you know what, I have this blog I think you should check out- here’s the address.
Most of the time I don’t bother to really explain things to people. If they are close enough to me to warrant me taking time to explain they usually have a good grasp on all these questions. If not I don’t always want to explain myself. I don’t mind educating people and if they ask me questions from a place of wanting to learn I will gladly talk to them. However people asking these questions don’t usually want to learn- they want to judge.
It’s a shame there are so many misconceptions about strip clubs but that also grants a kind of mystique, I suppose. I just published a book of poems written in and about a club and had the launch party at the club itself. I was able to introduce a couple of dozen of my friends (including my parents!) to reality. We had a lot of fun and demystified the place.
I wish I could show my parents the other side. That’d be nice. They are completely unwilling to budge on anything when it comes to dancing or quite frankly damn near anything in my life right now but hey we all do what we can.
I’m sure your parents will come around once they mature.
That’s what family therapy is for.