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The Single Story of a Stripper

May 30, 2013

What’s the stereotype of a stripper?

No I’m serious; think about it for a minute. I can tell you a few things that pop to mind right away. Drugs. Boobs- big boobs (real or fake). Party girl. Hooker. Single mom. Poor. Bad family. Bad home life. Trashy.

Stereotype stripper. Trust me those boobs are fake.

The visual stereotype stripper. Trust me those boobs are fake.

That’s the stereotype isn’t it? But there’s a problem with stereotypes. I quote Chimamada Adichie from her TED talk. She said, “The single story creates stereotypes, and the problem with stereotypes is not that they are untrue, but that they are incomplete. They make one story the only story.” The above-mentioned (and shown) stereotype can be found that’s true. However, as Chimamada Adichie said that is the problem of the single story, it leaves out everything else.

I’m willing to bet that if you met me in person, say we stood in line together at the grocery check out and got chatting, you’d never guess that I myself am a stripper. I don’t fit the above stereotype at all. My boobs are size A, I’m short with average length legs and while I’m slim my body is not perfectly toned, I’m a size four/six not zero/two. While I am confident about my looks I also know I sport more of the pretty girl next-door type look than the smoldering sexy look. In body alone I defy the stereotype of a stripper, but that’s not the only way.

just board with my camara

just board with my camera, does this look like a stripper?

I grew up as a nice girl in a small town, population six thousand plus. I couldn’t go pick up milk from the Walmart without twenty people stopping to chat- sometimes I didn’t even know whoever stopped me to chat but they knew my parents or my grandparents. My parents have been happily married for twenty-one years and are still going strong. My brother is a good kid, same with my little sister. I didn’t get into major trouble in high school or college (so far). I never was big on partying and I honestly hate being drunk. I was a smart student even if a bit lazy. I went to church on Sundays and even sang (rather poorly I admit) in a Christen youth choir. I went to bible camp for eight years. One of my best friends growing up was a preacher’s daughter. My family comfortably bumped the barrier between middle class and upper middle class never quite breaking through. I didn’t want for anything as a child although I was not spoilt. My parents taught me how to respect both myself and others. The only thing really distinguishing or abnormal about my upbringing was that I am bisexual and that can’t really be contributed to how I was raised, that was just pure universal luck. By all logic I should have gone to college, met a nice boy or girl finished my degree, entered grad school and started working a nine to five soon after. Instead I became a stripper the summer after my freshmen year of college.

When people find out I’m a stripper the reactions always vary. I don’t try to hide it. It’s my job, one I’m very good at. The only people I actively hid my job from are my family and a select few others who I want to only see me in a strictly professional light. Either way, reactions range from shock, awe, disgust and everything in between. One guy friend when he found out asked three days later if I wanted to have sex with him. A second guy friend- whose daughter always called me auntie in the past- told me to never speak to him again. That and he hoped his daughter forgot I ever existed.

That one hurt quite a bit.

But my point is that although the above reactions differ they stem from the same idea. That I am my job, that I am the stereotype, the single story. This is because not many people understand anything about the sex industry in general, let alone dancing.

Quick point to be cleared up right away, although I work in the sex industry I have not hooked or made porn. Personally I have no problem with any of those industries as long as all involved are involved at their own free will. Those particular areas are just not for me.

The single story of stripping has made it difficult for girls like me to be honest about our work without meeting all types of unwanted assumptions. So I’ve taken it upon myself to start telling my story. A no holds barred, bear all tell all account of what being a stripper can be. The good, the bad and the ugly. I plan on writing about customers, people I’ve worked with, clubs I’ve danced in and their owners and anything else related to my job. I’ll write about myself, how I started dancing and why I started dancing and even things about me that have nothing to do with dancing. For example I love rainstorms.

Because here’s the thing, I’m not your single story stripper. I am Delilah, a college student, an intelligent young woman, a Christen, a reader, at times a writer and yes I am a stripper.

Not me, but shoes I do own

Not me, but shoes I do own

I also have a twitter account you can follow at @Not_One_Story

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7 Comments
  1. I went to Strip club for my 18th birthday and really enjoyed it. I have always had a love and desire for dancing (i’ve always wanted to take a pole dancing class) and I thought that what the girls could do was amazing and even at some points beautiful. The girls were all very friendly and said they really liked when girls come in because they feel more comfortable. I’m very intrigued by your blog because I agree with you that the stereotype of a stripper doesn’t fit all. I can’t wait to read your next posts:)

    • Thank you so much for commenting! I personally love it when women come into the club as long as they’re comfortable. I’d say go for a pole class. Not to become a stripper but because its fun and a great work out. While the stereotype does exist and shouldn’t be ignored but that is only a part of the story. I want to tell the other part.

  2. ron permalink

    as animinity is so important to this, I will hold to your wishes. I am personally very happy to see that you have started to write this blog. as you stated, the steriotypes do exist and with a little luck, some of the right people out there will see this. the one stereotype I would like to see changed is the most common: whore. ive known a lot of girls that have danced throughout my years and as that is the most common assumption, it is the least common reality. with luck, this will help to abolish that assumption in the eyes of at least a few. I will check in from time to time and look forward to what more you have to say.

  3. wishuy permalink

    Loved reading this. So sad that people can be so closed minded to things and especially if they were your friends (obviously only friends for their selfishness), just because you strip does not mean Your not the same person to them. Anyway love your FF stories and have enjoyed reading this and look forward to more.

    • Thank you so much for taking the time to come read this. You’re right it is sad that people can’t look past the stereotype but that’s part of why I started to write this blog. I hope it shows another side of the story. Hope you like what I have to say!

  4. deajenae permalink

    Your story has inspired me! Growing up was never easy. I am an 18 year old college grad raised in a single mother, low income household with 3 sisters so I’ve had my stuggles. I also was raised christian, attending church every Sunday and constantly worry about judgements. The steriotypes people base about strippers does not fit me What so ever. I am beautiful. I am confident. I am Deajenae Grace aka Slim Desire<3

    • Thank you so much for your comment! It’s so great to know that there are more of us “good” strippers out there!

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